shepoet: Let Me In.

shepoet: Let Me In.: Tell me my fair lady, Let me in my fairy, Why are you like this to me? Am I not good enough? How do I love you in hiding? How do I car...

new year nonsense

My goals every new year's eve is always to fixate on idealized alternative realities which often turns out to be dreams. Every year is always the same if you do absolutely nothing to change that. Sometimes, resolutions are just empty words that have a zero impact in any positive change. Obviously, when one says "dreamer" most people tend to think its more like "delusional." In my life, illusions are often created by un- evenness. Unfortunately, everyone usually has a secret world inside of them but at the end of the day, it's always where the heartache is or began that can get to call itself your home. The weird reality best describes the finest moments in life when one suddenly one comes in reality to terms that not everyone or everything needs fixing and hence they quit arguing semantics.

As a woman, i always make a point of letting anybody that i date both male and female that am not going to instigate fight and that usually means that i automatically win. Evidently, people don't just make fun of people's boyfriends ,husbands,wives or girlfriends simply because they think they should have married someone better unless you can describe better and why YOU really think no one is making fun of you as well. Honestly, sometimes smiling is just better if someone else around you is also doing it and i bet it all starts with me.Most people probably wake up with smiles in their faces because someone just did something really special to light up their life, others wake up emotionally depressed they think total bullshit probably describes anything that involves waking up in the morning without any purpose in life. It's so simple for me to think that dreams can come true but sometimes i think that simple dreams in some people's life have way too much obstacles. I often like to describe obstacles to a dream as clouds.

I think the heart has to be the weakest muscle in the body especially when I give up in various slip ups in life. Subconsciously, things tend to camouflage and eventually erupt through unnoticeable things that we tend to do and occasionally think. You shouldn't be the one that always has to say what people are really thinking. It's always the reason why people may constantly be cutting you off because they have no patience to stand your dumbness or probably because sometimes you just cease to be in their balance. I woke up convincing myself that i will be looking up to the future and expecting positive instead of bracing myself for whatever barriers coming my way but things always tend to head to the path that one feels has all the rough patches. Sometimes the world just seems a little bit bitter because you feel like it's far from how you thought it was.

new year, new dreams.

Since new year's eve,I have been meaning to write but procrastination is no longer a bad vice that I have but rather a vice that I have embraced. I have been really sad last year but I pretended like everything was okay. Truth is, I never quite realised I was sad because I was always drunk. I am not an alcoholic, I barely get drunk but a glass of wine seemed a better solution than embracing my woes and troubles. Most of the time, I am scared to leave the house simply because every time I come back to the house, i have one more problem to deal with.

I don't really know why am writing today but I know this blog isn't a safe house for my thoughts and feelings. Most days, I feel like people can make you have hypochondria but then it hits me, it's better to be allergic to something than to lack anything to be allergic too. Then, you'll starve but you can always trade whatever you are allergic to, to whatever you can manage to eat. This year, it is the start of my journey to finding INNER PEACE and POSSIBLY, Love.

hey, how was your Christmas and new year and what goals do you really have and think you can achieve? I wanna hear yours,we can laugh about them at the end of the year or high five you because it happened.